Perfectionism.

We all know it is a lie.  We all know it is unattainable.  And yet, everyday we find ourselves grasping for the unreachable.  Why?  I am actually asking myself this right now.  I am about to get brutally honest.

Here I was going through my day.  It has been a good day.  Productive, happy kids, and a smooth day of homeschool.  I even was able to take time and tackle my bathroom and room which was an utter embarrassment!  Everything was going great!  That is until I reached for my phone to check my Instagram Feed.

And there it was…  picture perfect squares of picture perfect people doing picture perfect things.  Immediately, discouragement fell over me.  Here I was scrubbing toilets and vacuuming dust bunnies content at the work before me.  Immediately after scrolling I began questioning what I was doing with my life and if what I do even matters.  Just in a matter of moments my whole attitude shifted and the feeling of less than began to creep in.

This was a wake up call.

I am grateful I was able to acknowledge the shift within me and call it out for what it was.  Comparison and the desire for perfectionism.

Most days I am in sweatpants and one of Luke’s shirts.  I hardly ever put on makeup during the day unless I am going out. And my coffee is reheated at least 3 times per cup.  My home is not always clean and there is always laundry to be done.

As I realized what was happening internal, I began to ponder on these things.  One thing I learned in life when you are down is to start being grateful.  And as I began to list the things I am grateful for I realized that this imperfect messy life is exactly what I want and where I want to be.  Cuddling my kids in the morning while most others are hurriedly trying to get out the doors, watching my son sound out words and know that I was the one that taught him brings so much joy.  Working with my husband and building a business together has been life changing.

I know perfectionism is unattainable.  I know that you know this too. However, on those days where you feel “less than” I hope you can take some of these tips to turn around your thinking.

Three ways to overcome Comparison:

1. Gratefulness.  Being grateful is the number one thing that I turn to when I find myself struggling.  It is what I teach my kids and being thankful is a foundational principle I stand on.  1 Thes 5: 18.
2. Vulnerabilty.  We all struggle and yet we never say a word.  As people we were born for community and we were born to share not only our highlight reels but also the struggles we face.  This brings humility and encouragement.
3.  Reflection.  This tip actually comes from an experience I faced recently.  I found myself feeling a lot of guilt and feelings of despair at times.  I really had to ask myself some serious questions on where this came from and that led to me having to find forgiveness in myself.  It is easy to not reflect on the why but asking yourself why and really listening is one of the most important things you can do.

As I close, I am really having a love-hate relationship with social media.  I love how it connects you with like minded people especially in business. I love that is a great platform to share your work and your ideas.  We have used it to grow our business in a way that I don’t think we could have without it.  However, this generation I think struggles more with perfectionism than before.  I think we as women and creatives have it even harder.  Yet, we don’t encourage the messy.  We don’t really see much authenticity.  However, we all crave it.   The older I get the more and more I crave “realness.”   As we dig in to this New Year, my goal is to really analyze what I put on social media and the reasoning behind it.  My life is not perfect and I don’t ever want to convey that it is.   I don’t have a social media strategy to offer other than strive for authenticity and go ahead and put down your phone.

-Ash-

Photo by the amazing Chelsea Lynn! 

 

If you would like to continue this conversation and you are a photographer, head on over to our Private Facebook Group!  

 

On a lighter note… Check out our recent weddings! We  definitely LOVE our job!

Williamsburg Lodge Wedding

Historic Polegreen Church wedding

 

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