So this little series that I am doing right now is really humbling for me. You see I have told people close to me bits and pieces of our story.
But to put it out there for the whole world to hear… It is definitely a little scary.
So I remind myself of why I am doing this. It is to hopefully help others.
Help those that are newly married or even those that are already married and may have experienced what we have.
To offer hope when things can seem so dark.
I left off on bankruptcy, 2 kids, and a small paying job. You can read about that here. So let me back up.
After we shut the business down we had this looming amounts of business debt hanging over our heads. We had people threatening to sue us from the business. It was just a huge very scary mess.
Not only that but tons of personal debt that we had from just trying to survive that year.
Luke got a job making 12.00 an hour. We had just enough to pay our mortgage, and some neccessities. There is help out there for those that need it,
but I am so prideful and so It took me 7 months of this to finally go and get government assistance. Again. I was humiliated.
My phone was ringing constantly from bill collectors. We ended up having to change our numbers because it was so overwhelming.
They just didn’t understand and didn’t care that we literally couldn’t pay them anything!
And then during this time…Guess what??? Baby number 3 was on the way!
I became so numb.
How in the world were we going to care for another baby when we weren’t even making it on our own at that time?
We became so desperate. Luke began to look back into going into the military.
He was talking to a recruiter and was on his way to becoming a flight engineer. It sounded good.
Things would be a little more stable and we would have healthcare and more income.
However, there was a catch. I didn’t really tell him because I knew he was desperate to provide for his family.
However, I was now about to have our 3rd baby and our first son. If he took this job, he would be gone when I went into labor.
I don’t have family here. We were not happy with the church we were in. I felt so alone and so scared.
During this time I do have to stop and Give God Praise.
There were times when he moved and provided in such AMAZING ways.
One evening I realized that I did not have enough diapers to get my little girl through the week.
It was like a Tuesday and Luke didn’t get paid until Friday. I believe I had like 6 diapers left.
And anyone with a baby knows that 6 diapers is not anything. I remember walking into the room saying we do not have enough diapers.
It was a very numb statement. Luke responded ok. And that was it. There was no discussion on what we would do. I mean we had no plan.
We had already exhausted what we could. So we went to bed that night. Not another thought about it.
It was 11:30 that night and someone was knocking on our door. We got up to answer and there is our good friend.
And guess what he had in his hands??? Diapers. Boxes of Diapers and wipes.
I lost it. I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t tell anyone. Luke didn’t tell anyone. But God knew. Even without me asking he provided.
To this day that moment brings me to tears.
In the mix of all this chaos we sought advice and we were told that it would be beneficial if we just filed bankruptcy.
Now bankruptcy is not a decision to take lightly. It is an atomic bomb that is set upon your life and credit.
After seeking the advice we felt that bankruptcy was the only way out. So we made an appointment with a lawyer and began the paperwork.
All we would need to give them was a 100.00 check.
Now 100.00 was a lot to us at the time. I mean we literally had nothing. But we figured this would be worth it so we wrote the check and sent it in.
Now to the most embarrassing and yet most wonderful thing….The check bounced.
I am not sure if you ever had a check bounce. But it is once again humiliating.
I mean you are basically lying to the person you gave the check to saying you have the money and yet you really don’t.
I don’t like liars. And I definitely don’t want to be one myself.
So that bounced check brought us to our lowest point. I felt there was no way out. We were crushed, hopeless, and desperate.
And that desperation brought us to something that changed our whole circumstance and where we are today!
I will share the rest of this part of our lives on part III of the Lie We Believed next week so be sure to keep checking in!